In the annals of human history, there are stories of people who stretched far beyond the boundaries of what is possible. Michael Jordon defied gravity. Shakespeare invented new landscapes of language. Ron Jeremy had sex with a lot of women despite looking like a cross between Danny Devito and Super Mario.
There are countless such stories of humans challenging themselves to achieve the extraordinary and inspire us all.
These are not those stories.
#6. Tu Jin-Sheng a.k.a. "Iron Crotch"
He Does What Now?
Pulls trucks with his penis. Like a mofo.
#5. Bobby Badfingers
He Does What Now?
Snaps like a mofo.
Bobby Badfingers, who claims the title of world's faster snapper at 30 snaps a second, is a professional snappist whose live act comprises of, according to his website, "mixing finger-snapping with mesmerizing, pelvic-jutting dance moves, which he based on martial arts footwork."
#4. Steven Purugganan
In America, striving to be the best is a fundamental part of our identity. It's one of the three legs that make the stool that is America the strongest in the world, the other two being competitive eating and NASCAR. However, when grown-ups say we should strive to be the best in "everything," they don't actually mean it. It won't help you to become the best at, say, stacking disposable cups.
Unfortunately no one told this to Steven Purugganan. Eleven-year-old Steve had his whole life ahead of him until he captured the title of world's fastest competitive cup stacking champion. What exactly is cup stacking, you ask?
Behold:
#3.Ricky Jay
He Does What Now?
Throws playing cards like a mofo.
Yep, Ricky's "that guy" you may remember from Boogie Nights and Deadwood. But acting is a secondary interest to Ricky, as throwing the living shit out of playing cards is his one true love. He's in the Guinness Book of World Records for throwing a card 190 feet at a speed of 90 miles an hour.
#2. Jospeh Pujol: The Fartiste
He Did What Now?
Farted like a mofo.
A celebrity in his time, Joseph Pujol possessed extraordinary control over his farts. He could imitate cannon fire, thunderstorms, musical instruments and animal calls through the medium of fart. He also could play the flute with his ass, much to the chagrin of the flute's owner. In fact, someone wrote an ode to the fart master.
#1.George Vlosich
He Does What Now?
Creates amazing works of art... on an Etch-a-Sketch. Like a mofo.
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