Wednesday, April 14, 2010

Baby's First Cubicle: Most Depressing Toy Everrrr



The trick to raising happy kids, is to not tell them to aim for the moon and land among the stars crap... don't tell them they're gonna be world-class surgeons or presidents of countries. Get them this cubicle so they can be mentally prepared to become office drones like 80% of people become.

For a mere $2,500, daddy's little office drone gets all of this:

Furniture features:
* Flat desk area
* Left and Right built-in mouse pads
* Bench seat that fits two children and offers storage inside for supplies
* Two locking cabinet doors
* Computer wiring stores safely inside ventilated cabinet.
* Locking castors keep unit from rolling during use.
Computer equipment features:
* Think Centre PC
* Internal DVD-ROM
* 1GB RAM (minimum)
* 160GB Hard Drive (minimum)
* 10/100 Ethernet
* Microsoft® Windows
* Sound Card and 2 External Speakers
* Surge protector
* 19" Widescreen Flat Panel LCD Monitor
* Custom Little Tikes Learning keyboard and Tiny Mouse (colors are subject to change without notice)
Computer Warranty: 1-year parts and labor.
Pre-loaded educational software:
* Millie's Math House®
* Sammy's Science House®
* Bailey's Book House®
* Trudy's Time and Place®
* Thinkin' Things®


If you really want to lower their expectations for life a little more, so they can truly be happy, take them to walmart and get this toy for them.



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