I'm not sure if any of you had heard of the 13-year old kid, Alfie Patten who, a while back, made news when he became a father to a nasty form of spawn by mating with that ogre on the right.. well it turns out that DNA testing showed that Alfie was not the father... and also we find out for sure that ogres are indeed cheating whores...
A DNA test showed a 13-year-old boy in Britain is not the father of a baby born to a 15-year-old he had unprotected sex with once.
Chantelle Stedman told Alfie Patten, who was 12 when he slept with her, he was her newborn daughter Maisie's father.
At first Stedman said Patten was the only boy she had ever slept with, but soon after other teens came forward saying they too could be the baby's father, because they claimed to have had sex with the girl.
It is still not clear who the baby's father is.
And as the Geekologie Writer so daintily and truthfully puts it...
"Alfie, if you're reading, I have some advice: get your junk checked for funk and then WALK AWAY with clean hands and dong. Chalk it up as a life lesson and move on. Just be thankful you learned it now before you married the beast atop Mt. Bloodfang and were sealed to the ogre clan forever. Because that would suck. Now run, Alfie -- run as fast and far as those little child-sized feet and size 4's will take you! Also, no more sticking your penis in things until you're 30 and gainfully employed. And then only the change return slot in vending machines."
DNA test shows that Alfie Patten is not the father
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